So ... Who Wants to Read About My Research?

I haven't been particularly active in this space lately, and I'll try to rectify that in the near future. In the meantime, I thought I'd post the introduction to my Master's thesis so that anybody who is curious as to my area of research can have a look.

As it is only the introduction it is mainly non-technical. I've also made some additional alterations in an effort to make it as accessible as possible for a non-computer science audience. Anyways, here goes:



Consider the problem of finding a route from one location in a city to another when navigating with a map. Before any travel can begin, a route for travel (or at least a partial route) must be found. Unfortunately, there may be a large number of candidate partial paths that must be considered before a complete route is found.

In this example, a single agent has the task of path finding. In general, all agents — whether they be living or artificial — are faced with some number of tasks to perform. In order to complete these tasks, agents must develop plans for action.
  
The effectiveness with which an agent plans is evaluated in terms of two different measures. The first is the time required to find a plan that will complete the given tasks. The second is the cost of the plan, the value of which will depend on the agent’s objectives. In the case of navigation, the possibilities for plan cost include distance travelled --- if the agent is to find a short path --- or the expected travel time --- if the agent is to find a quick path (ie. when navigating in a map, such an agent would prefer the use of highways over city streets).

In many domains, there is additional information that can be used to inform and thereby speed up planning. For example, when navigating between locations in Edmonton, Canada, it is reasonable to initially disregard routes through distant locations such as Madagascar. Moreover, if the desired destination is east of the starting location, the first routes to consider are naturally those that initially proceed eastward (if such paths exist).

Such information can be used to build heuristics which estimate the cost of the remaining path to the goal from any area in the domain. The field concerned with the development of heuristics and the construction of algorithms that use heuristics for planning is called single-agent search. In this field, planning is performed by building complete plans from some partial plans by a process which is guided by the given heuristic.

Single-agent search remains an important field for research due to the large number of real-world applications in which search algorithms have proven to be effective problem-solving techniques. These applications include autonomous robot navigation, in which heuristics are used to
guide pathfinding [6]; DNA sequence alignment [5]; and, computer games [7].

There is a class of single-agent search algorithms that will provably find the lowest cost solution provided that the heuristic satisfies certain conditions. Unfortunately, as problem domains grow larger, these optimal algorithms will often take too long to find a solution. To address this issue, suboptimal single-agent search algorithms have been developed. These algorithms sacrifice solution quality for a decrease in search time and are ideal when a solution (often near optimal) is needed quickly.

When constructing a single-agent search system, it must first be determined if suboptimal solutions will suffice or if optimal solutions are desired. Another consideration is if planning will precede execution or if the system is to work in real-time, with planning and plan execution being interleaved. The system designer is then faced with decisions regarding the proper selection of an algorithm and a heuristic function for the given domain(s). There are also often subtle choices such as tie-breaking (the order in which equally promising candidate paths are considered) that can significantly affect the planning speed. With all of these possible choices, properly recognizing and evaluating all of the necessary design decisions is a vital aspect of building an effective search system.

In the case of suboptimal problem solving, additional options arise as almost all applicable algorithms involve some kind of parameterization (where a parameter refers to some sort of numerical setting that can affect algorithm performance). For example, in the weighted variants of A*, IDA*[3], and RBFS [4], the value of the weight parameter must be set. Similarly, beam-search variants like BULB [2] and Beam-stack search [8] require the selection of a value for the beam width parameter.

Any adjustment of these parameter values can change both the solution quality and the search speed. In a few cases, there are theoretical results that indicate how changing a parameter will affect the search (such as the bounds on solution quality in weighted A*, weighted IDA*, and weighted RBFS [4]). Unfortunately, it is much more common that a significant amount of pre-computation is needed so as to determine how different parameter settings affect the search. In practice, parameter values are tested on a set of training examples through a process commonly referred to as parameter tuning. The single parameter setting that satisfies any given constraints on solution quality and exhibits the best average performance is then used in all future runs of the algorithm.

One drawback of parameter tuning is that it generally customizes the search algorithm for a specific problem domain (ie. an algorithm used for navigation may be tuned specifically for city-driving as opposed to for highway driving). As such, the results of this expensive process cannot effectively be transferred across domains — a fact that is of particular concern when designing general search systems such as automated heuristic search planners. In these systems, general heuristics are used to guide a suboptimal search algorithm over many domains. In practice, planners such as HSP [1] commit to a single parameter value that will hopefully be effective over a diverse class of problems.

Parameter tuning also suffers from another deficiency: there is no guarantee that a tuned value will perform well on each individual problem. Tuning only finds the setting that has the best average performance. On a per problem basis, there can be other parameter values which significantly outperform the tuned setting. In this thesis, we will demonstrate that it is often the case that if a search system could properly select the correct parameter setting for each problem, the planning speed over a number of problems can be greatly improved.

In this end, we will consider the dovetailing procedure as an approach to this problem. Dovetailing involves running several independent instances of an algorithm — each of which has a different set of parameter settings — at the same time by interleaving the execution of the instances. The
procedure can also be trivially extended so as to work with multi-processor computers. This aspect of the algorithm is important due to the increasing availability of such machines. As such, we will also analyze the performance of the algorithm when used in this fashion.

The main contributions of this thesis can be summarized as follows:

1. The single-agent search algorithms of WA*, WIDA*, WRBFS, and BULB are described, and the weaknesses of WA*, WIDA*, and WRBFS as suboptimal search algorithms are demonstrated. The behaviour of these algorithms in the sliding tile and pancake puzzles as a function of the weight parameter will also be shown. Similarly, the behaviour of BULB in these domains as a function of the beam width will be demonstrated.
2. Dovetailing is explored as an approach to proper parameter selection. Dovetailing is shown to significantly enhance WIDA* in the domains of the sliding tile puzzle and the pancake puzzle. The parallel version of dovetailing is also shown to exhibit massive improvements in search time when used with this algorithm. In the case of WRBFS, dovetailing without any pre-computation is shown to improve the speed of the algorithm in the sliding tile puzzle domain, and offer comparable performance in the pancake puzzle domain. Dovetailing with WRBFS over different tie-breaking schemes will also improve the quality of the solutions. We will also demonstrate that parallel dovetailing offers an effective parallelization of this algorithm.
3. The sequential version of dovetailing will be shown to decrease the search speed of BULB and WA*, but improve the quality of the solutions when considered over different tie-breaking schemes. The reasons for this behaviour are discussed. The parallel version of dovetailing will also be shown to offer the best performance of all known parallelizations of WA* when higher weights are used in the sliding tile puzzle domain.

Works Cited

[1] Blai Bonet and Hector Geffner. Planning as heuristic search. Artif. Intell., 129(1-2):5–33, 2001.
[2] David Furcy and Sven Koenig. Limited Discrepancy Beam Search. In IJCAI, pages 125–131, 2005.
[3] Richard E. Korf. Iterative-Deepening-A*: An Optimal Admissible Tree Search. In IJCAI, pages 1034–1036, 1985.
[4] Richard E. Korf. Linear-Space Best-First Search. Artif. Intell., 62(1):41–78, 1993.
[5] Matthew McNaughton, Paul Lu, Jonathan Schaeffer, and Duane Szafron. Memory-Efficient A* Heuristics for Multiple Sequence Alignment. In AAAI/IAAI, pages 737–743, 2002.
[6] Anthony Stentz. The Focussed D* Algorithm for Real-Time Replanning. In IJCAI, pages 1652–1659, 1995.
[7] Bryan Stout. Smart moves: Intelligent Pathfinding. Game Developer Magazine, October:28–35, 1995.
[8] Rong Zhou and Eric A. Hansen. Beam-Stack Search: Integrating Backtracking with Beam Search. In Susanne Biundo, Karen L. Myers, and Kanna Rajan, editors, ICAPS, pages 90–98. AAAI, 2005.

By the way, if you'd like to read the whole thing, send me an email and I can pass it along.

ALERT: Blue Jays Rant Coming!

Today's been something of an annoying day. I had to wake up at a reasonable hour as if I have a real job. Then I found out that my move to another apartment is being bumped back to a much more inconvenient date. And all day I have been working on an assignment and it ain't going well.

Long story short, I am in a ranting move. So here goes ...

A few days ago, Keith Law mentioned that when he was with the Blue Jays, JP Ricciardi turned down a trade of Jose Cruz Jr. (retired centre-fielder) for David Wright (current perennial all-star and MVP candidate). Now, in hindsight this was an abysmal decision, but it was at least kind of defensible at the time when Jose Cruz was viewed as being a strong defensive player who might develop his plethora of tools.

I'm not here to apologize or pile on JP; I'll leave that to others. But I do want to know why Keith Law had to confirm this rumour. Does he just hate Jays fans? I mean, the rational side of me (small as it may be) is trying to argue that these non-trades happen all the time, and prospects are always a bit of a gamble.

Unfortunately, the sports fan in me wants to go on table-flipping rampage (which has been shown by science to be the second best kind of rampage after the Rambo-like rampage). DAVID WRIGHT!? REALLY?! Keith Law, why must you taunt me? It's bad enough that the team this year was terrible, but you just had to poor the salt that is David Wright on those wounds? Next, you'll remind me about the Lincecum for Rios non-trade and that Roy Halladay is probably leaving. Or that the Leafs are 1-7-1, Toronto FC just got embarassed in a do-or-die game, the Argos are a disaster, and the Raptors may go games without getting a single rebound. I really don't need this right now, Keith Law, I really don't.

I also don't want to kick Steve Phillips while he is down, but this is just more evidence that he was a terrible GM. At least JP can say he wasn't familiar with Wright --- Phillips doesn't have that luxury. And yet, when he goes on television as a baseball analyst, I'm supposed to take his opinion seriously?

But let this be a lesson for new Blue Jays GM Alex Anthopoulos. Alex, do yourself a favour. Determine who are the worst GM's in the game (I suggest starting with that fella in San Francisco), and get on their good side. Then call them weekly with ridiculous trade offers. Particularly, offer aging players whose skills are degrading for shiny young prospects. Somehow these trades happen far more often than they should, and its about time the Blue Jays benefitted from the stupidity of other teams.

In this episode of "The Good, the Bad, and the Rick," our intrepid hero admits to being thoroughly confused by Michael Haneke

I apologize to all of my readers who were anxiously waiting with baited breath for the next word to burst forth from the deep recesses of my cold and forgotten heart. Fear no more, for I have returned from whence I came!

By which I mean the last few weeks have been quite eventful and I have not had the opportunity to write anything. Not that I have any real excuse. I was only defending my thesis, and then celebrating the successful defense of my thesis, and then concurrently looking for an apartment. And in the midst of all this, I also managed to watch 5 movies in the last two weeks. I'm not sure if I will have a post on each, but I will certainly address a few of them. Today, I thought I'd tackle "The White Ribbon" and my opinion of the three Michael Haneke films that I've seen over the last year.

I am not sure where I first heard of the film "Funny Games" (specifically "Funny Games US"), but however that was, something about the description stuck with me. So when I stumbled across a copy of it in the used bin at the local Rogers Video about 8-12 months ago, I decided it was worth a purchase.

And I was right. The basic story of the film follows the home invasion of an upper-middle class family's cabin. But instead of hitting your regular horror movie plot points, this film basically subverts all your expectations about the genre and points out the viewers sadism for even wanting to watch such a film.

"Funny Games" also represents one of the most uncomfortable viewing experiences of my life. Not because it is overly violent --- there is little actual on-screen violence --- but because Haneke builds the tension to levels that I am not used to. My stomach was essentially squirming the entire time, and even when there is a brief respite, Haneke quickly pulls it away. It is a beautifully filmed movie, but it is a painful experience, particularly considering what Haneke suggests my interest in watching such a film says about me.

Even if it was a difficult film to watch, its brilliance made me eager check out Haneke's other work. So when a local theatre was showing Haneke films for an entire week, I rounded up some friends --- Zee German, Minnesota, The Greatest TA of All Time (you sir, are a brilliant and talented man, and I don't only say so because you might be marking my assignment at this very moment), and Soul-Patch* --- and we headed over to watch "The Seventh Continent." As we left the theatre, Zee German and Minnesota claimed it was the worst movie they had ever seen. I tried playing the contrarian (I'm a bit of a jerk that way), but I have to admit, I also hated it.

The film follows a middle-class family living a regular, and what Haneke suggests is a boring and unfulfilling life. So they, well let us say, change their situation.

"The Seventh Continent" is also difficult to watch, but that is mostly because ever scene goes on about 10 times longer than it should. It's one thing to have long scenes that build tension --- and to be fair, there are some tense/heart-breaking scenes. But is is another to show 5 straight minutes of someone literally flushing money down the toilet from a single camera angle

And so it was with trepidation that I went to watch Haneke's "The White Ribbon" during the Edmonton Film Festival last week.  The movie had won the Palme D'Or at Cannes and so a bunch of us were interested. But I was so disappointed in "The Seventh Continent" that I expected the worst.

"The White Ribbon" follows some weird and tragic events that happen in a small village in Germany in 1913.
But in the end, I didn't connect with film at all. I found the story to not be particularly interesting, and I came out not having any idea what Haneke was trying to say.

I did enjoy his stark black-and-white cinematography. In particular, Haneke seems to love to allow the camera to linger on shot in which all characters have left, only to allow them to re-enter the frame from where they came. I also appreciate that all characters are given heaps of depth. But I really have no idea know what it was all building to.

I suspect a European audience will get much more out of it than I did, just because of the cultural background and history that the film assumes. I had no idea until about halfway through the movie that the year was 1913 (my guess was about 15 years off), and I wonder if this would have been immediately obvious to someone from that continent.

I do appreciate that Haneke doesn't spoon-feed his audience with this film, but it feels like he goes too far the other way. It is almost like the film is deliberately frustrating. For that reason, I am less than impressed. It is certainly hard for me to recommend a movie that I did not get, or even really enjoy.

In the end, I am left with an odd opinion of Haneke. I remain staunchly in favour of "Funny Games" and staunchly in opposition to "The Seventh Continent." "The White Ribbon" simply left me cold (perhaps by flying right over my head). But after seeing all three films, I can't say I have nearly as much interest in seeking out any further Haneke films as I once did.

Note: Some internet chatter I have seen suggests "The White Ribbon" is about how the seeds of fascism and Nazism were sown in the young generation. I suppose I can kind of see that if I cross my eyes and squint.  However, I maintain that even if this is indeed Haneke's message, he has obfuscated it far too much. Again, maybe this was all obvious for a European audience, but I completely missed it when I saw the film, and I would be lying if I didn't admit that I am having a hard time seeing it now.

* Soul-Patch is a pretty cool nickname (it makes him sound like a cop in a 70's blaxpoitation film), but it isn't accurate, and I'm pretty sure I can do better. Next time, I promise will.

Pump Up the Jam

Today, I did a departmental talk on the research I did for my Master's thesis. In the hour before the talk, instead of fiddling with my slides, I prefer to watch videos on the internet to both clear my head and pump me up. For your own inspirational needs, I include a list of similar movies below:

Our first entry comes from Jackie Chan in the movie Miracles. Let me begin by saying that until this scene, this film is terrible. Just atrocious. The plot is nonsensical even for a Jackie Chan film, which generally only act as vehicles for his action/comedy scenes. But then he starts fighting seemingly a 100 men in a rope factory, and the film totally redeems itself. This may be the quintessential Jackie Chan scene. He is constantly being beaten up, but you know he is never going to get seriously hurt - or at least his movie character doesn't - and there are plenty of great physical gags along the way. For some reason, the dubbing is just terrible in all the clips I can find. Don't worry, there is very little talking in this clip. But that music is just awful!



Keep in mind, Jackie Chan famously does his own stunts, as do all the other characters in this film. Just incredible.

The second instalment on our list comes from the late great Warren Zevon. While this song may not pump you up, its a great tale about a hockey goon who just wants to score a goal. Unfortunately, he just isn't very good at the sport. It is kind of like Rudy - just with a puck.

Below is a live version of the song. I love the reactions from the crowd as they slowly get sucked into the song.



If you don't smile when Buddy scores and the crowd goes wild, I am pretty sure you are dead inside.

Finally, we have the cream of the crop. It is a montage of Wendel Clark highlights set to Metallica. You really can't ask for much more to pump you up, although it obviously helps that I grew up a Leafs fan.



I didn't appreciate Wendel Clark as much as I should have. I have never liked goons, even if Warren Zevon has made me reconsider my position, and I think that as a kid, I misunderstood Wendel's role on the team. I think this was mostly because I was young, impressionable, and he seemed to get a similar adulation from the crowd as did Tie Domi (who I really didn't like). In retrospect, that wasn't fair to Wendel, but not Domi - I still hate that guy. Wendel was never sent on the ice with the express purpose of fighting. Sure, it happened - a lot actually - but it was never a sideshow. It was always borne out the natural emotion of the game. And being tough certainly wasn't his only talent, as he was a hell of a hockey player. This last point is the key for me. I hate goons clogging up roster spots. But if you are tough and can play, I am plenty happy.

So thank you Wendel for all your years of service to the Leafs. And also for inspiring this video which can any Leaf fan raring to go - even if it is for an academic talk.

The Remnants of a Tall Man

A little over a month ago, a good friend of mine - we'll call him Minnesota, although I was very tempted to go with Al Franken - left Edmonton for greener (or at the very least warmer) pastures. While he was gathering his possessions for the move, he collected a bag of random things that he didn't want to bother taking with him. He gave this bag to me as a parting gift under the condition that I catalogue its contents and post it on the internet. I do so below:

• A stack of 8.5x11 lined paper
• A fancy pad of paper. When I say fancy, I mean it has an insignia on every page. The insignia involves a set of scales and a book. There is also a website address, but the site is written in German. As this is one of the many languages I cannot read, I am going to assume that our departed American friend was a member of the German equivalent of the Free Masons.
• Regular and Large Envelopes
• Stamps. Which are convenient given the above combination of envelopes and paper.
  
• Skat score sheets. Skat is a three-player German card game that is horribly complicated but still a lot of fun to play. Many a night ended with a several hour session of playing this game with Minnesota and Zee German (another good friend and Minnesota's roommate). Since these score sheets generally reflect poorly on me - although I at least had a positive score on this last one - let's move on.
• A bag from IJCAI. This was the main component of the conference swag they handed out. I now have two, and I use them for carrying groceries. I like that the bags identify me as a scientist and give me some much needed hippie cred as they allow me to avoid using plastic bags.
  
• A cribbage set. I have no idea how this game works aside from the fact that it involves playing cards and a horse-track looking thing. 
  
• A half-used bag of balloons. When Zee German moved out of our apartment building early in the summer, we felt it would be hilarious to fill Minnesota's room with balloons (well, Zee German thought it would be hilarious - I thought it would be kinda funny and am perpetually a sidekick). Any way, this was before it took a painful hour of blowing up about 100 balloons by hand. At that point we decided to stop with only half of the bag of balloons being gone, not because more balloons wouldn't be funnier (they most definitely would), but because the additional funny was not worth any more of that excrutiatingly tedious job. I hoped Minnesota would make our effort worthwhile and respond by angrily flipping tables, but he mostly took it in stride. Although it was great to hear that for several weeks thereafter (I may have my timeline wrong, but this is my story dammit), he was occasionally awoken by a balloon popping when the sun got to it.
  
• Sunscreen. I appreciate gifts that help prevent cancer.
• Two Books for Online Poker. What can I say, I hang out with degenerate gamblers. Well, to be fair, these books aren't really indicative of this. For these gentlemen, online poker does not really count as gambling considering how well-prepared they are (as many do poker-related research) and consequently how often they win. No, what makes these people degenerate gamblers is their willingness to bet money on flips of a coin, Mario Kart, or Bomberman.
  
• A Picture Frame. In which, I should have put the money I won playing Bomberman. I remain the only person who has won money off Minnesota in this game. And I plan on lording over this tiny victory for a long time. However, instead of framing my winnings, this gambling debt was wiped free in exchange for:
• A Deep Fryer. Technically, this wasn't in the bag, but I am including it anyways. I like to call it the Minnesota Memorial Deep Fryer. In this end, our tall friend signed it before he left. It became quite notorious at parties during which eventually something silly would end up being deep fried. During occasions like these, I enjoy remembering how much education the lot of us have.
• Rolls for coins.
• Skin Moisturizer.
  
• Half a bottle of olive oil. The cook in me was very happy about this.
  
• Poker Chips. Did I mention I hang out with degenerate gamblers? I am pretty sure I could get people betting on a game involving that cribbage horse-track in which I use dice to advance the "horses." On that note, I don't see anything morally offensive about running an illegal gambling parlour as a way to supplement my research funding. It is for the benefit of science after all. And perhaps an HDTV.
  
• A 3 1/2" floppy disc drive. When Minnesota arrived in Edmonton, he brought along his desktop computer. In order to save space, he pulled all the components out of the casing. He didn't bother buying a new case in Edmonton, and instead just had his computer innards strewn (carefully) on the floor beside his desk. He then brought the computer back to into the US the same way it came in. But I guess the floppy disc drive didn't make the cut.
  
• 2 window blinds. 
• CFL towels. They gave these away for free at an Eskimos game. This may have been the game in which we saw a drunken fellow flip off a cop and then fall 4 flights of stairs directly into a concrete railing. This resulted in an audible gasp from the crowd which eventually erupted into laughter when it became clear the man did not seriously injure anything but his dignity. Sometimes, I just love karma.

I was also given a fake sword that was used as part of a Halloween costume. I also accidentally stole Minnesota's XBox by neglecting to remind him that he had left it at my apartment for nearly a year. I swear that was a mistake and that I am not playing it right this instant.

Anyway, thanks for the grab bag and good luck with your new job in that much warmer climate.

Update: In some not-so-private correspondence, Zee German made an excellent point. I forgot to mention Minnesota's philanthropic efforts. Along with the bag I was given,  Minnesota gave me two garbage bags of items to give to the poor. I did not go through those bags carefully except to throw the contents in a bin for a particular charity. I noticed some clothes and bedding, but nothing particularly exciting. Regardless, I salute Minnesota for this act in the name of the betterment of society. You truly are a king among men.

Commenting Guidelines: Anonymous Commenting

I fully encourage commenting of pretty much any kind or form. Feedback is definitely appreciated, and I only plan on deleting comments if they become overly inflammatory (ie. racist, sexist, etc.) or if they are the work of spammers.

However, I would appreciate if you avoided the use of anonymous commenting. Don't get me wrong, you can use all the false pseudonyms you want. From my perspective, the game of guessing the commenter from the fake name is a fun one.

I'm not even asking you to maintain a consistent identity or use a real name. You may do so if you wish (it is kind of helpful for me in tracking readers), or you may not. I just want some additional context to your comment, even if it is fake.

I will not actually turn off the use of anonymous commenting, quite frankly because I don't care that much. I would just prefer that you yourself make the decision to turn down that option and I encourage you to be creative in your name selection.

Note, commenting anonymously on this post is neither original nor funny. It is actually quite lame. I just thought I'd give you a heads up in case you thought you were really clever.

"I Personally Know Rick. Do I Have to Worry About Appearing On Sarcastic Robots in an Unflattering Manner?"

Why, that is an excellent question Jimmy, and a lot of people have asked us about this (ed. note, this statement is false both because no one has asked and because we don't know anyone named Jimmy (also note that this blog has no editor and we have no problem using nested parentheses)). But we here at Sarcastic Robots appreciate that while we (strictly speaking, I) have decided to use our real names and identities - again, there is only actually one of us - on this here blog, you have not signed over your right to internet anonymity simply by being acquainted with the aforementioned Rick Valenzano.

In this end, the real names of persons involved in any stories recounted will be redacted and replaced with false monikers or vague pronouns*. While the context will often let other acquaintances of Rick Valenzano in on the identities of the characters mentioned, be advised that this will only occur in situations in which we would be comfortable recounting said "adventures" in a regular social gathering with the names intact (ie. non-digital person-to-person interactions). As we plan on mostly avoiding stories in which anyone except Rick Valenzano (our inspiration and muse (and author (see, we're doing the parentheses thing again, I warned you))) appears ridiculous, you should be free and in the clear. The one exception being in the case of us being out for sweet, sweet revenge.

* Note, we will use the real names of individuals where it is of clear benefit to them (ie. if they want readers to contact them), or if they otherwise ask us to divulge their identities (which seems unnecessary, but who knows what you people want).

On this Episode of "Cinematastic with Rick": District 9

Let me start off with the following: I enjoyed watching District 9 and felt it was well worth the price of admission. Now let me temper that statement: rarely have I ever found myself both impressed and disappointed by the same film, and somehow District 9 did just that.

The good: the premise is fantastic. The main idea behind the film is that an alien ship has broken down over Johannesburg, at which point the aliens are herded off their ship and into a ghetto of sorts. However, the locals don't like the presence of the aliens and have the government relocate the aliens farther from the city. The first half of the film follows a particular bureaucrat named Wikus Van De Merwe (played by Sharlto Copley) as he heads the effort to inform the aliens of the impending relocation.

Most of this part of the movie is filmed in a documentary style as it follows the work of Wikus and the private corporation that has been given the task of moving the aliens. Is Wikus a standard bumbling bureaucrat at an evil corporation who only gets his job through nepotism? Of course he is. Does Copley go over-the-top with his performance? A little bit. But at the same time, I was still entranced by the plot, pacing, and cinematography.

The main problem I had with the film is that the script takes this brilliant idea and bringing it right back on to the beaten path. While the first half brings up a lot of interesting issues regarding apartheid, the treatment of refugees, and immigation, the last half simply follows the standard action movie formula.

Don't get me wrong, I like action movies, and the director, Neill Blomkamp, plays the formula very well. But he relies too heavily on well-worn cliches. While the originality of the film actually makes this predictable turn somewhat unpredictable, I have to say I still came out of the film disappointed. It just feels too much like strong film that should have been a sci-fi classic.

What are others saying about this movie? Rottentomatoes finds that a strong proportion of movie critics favourably reviewed this film. Of those I pay attention to, the reaction is somewhat more lukewarm. Interestingly enough, it is also for a divergent set of reasons too.

While Alan Bacchus loved the final action set piece, but he is less than impressed with the characterization of Wikus and found the mix of documentary and non-documentary styles distracting. Will Leitch similarly loves the concept and look as I do, but was dissapointed with cliched action ending. Roger Ebert agrees, and adds that he feels that aside from a few specific exceptions, the aliens are difficult to sympathize with.

By the way, be sure to check out the short film Alive in Joburg, also by Blomkamp, on which this movie is based. This wonderful short distills the premise into 6 minutes, but certainly leaves a lot of room for expansion. In this end, I do appreciate the attempt to extend the ideas into a feature-length film. And while District 9 is certainly well-done, I can't help but feel it is also something of a missed opportunity.

By the way, I need a name for these movie review segments and so I'd love to here of your suggestions in the comments. Also, if you've seen the movie, I'd like to hear what you think about it.

"Epic Movie? More like Epic Fail!"*

I really enjoy going to the cinema. I love being overwhelmed by the big screens and hearing how other people react to a film. I even kind of enjoy that slightly nauseous feeling I get after leaving the theatre having gone through a fountain sprite and bag of gummy bears (note, I am a firm believer that this feeling is part of the experience).

But, there are also only so many hours in the day and so much money in my pocket. Which are just some of the reasons I have always found a certain set of movie critics quite valuable.

I say certain set because I don't find all critics valuable to me personally. It is not because they are poor writers or bad critics, its just that they don't help me pick movies to watch. In some sense, I look for critics that have similar sensibilities as I do, this way I know that if they liked a film, I probably will too.

Another important function that movie critics serve involves highlighting lesser known films that I might otherwise miss. I always enjoy being surprised by a film, and so throwing a little less conventional fare into the mix is always helpful - particularly if it is suggested by a source I trust.

With these ideas in mind, I have been thinking about helping to populate this corner of the internet with a few movie reviews of my own. If you are reading this blog, you almost certainly know me personally and so probably agree with me on at least some aspects of movie-watching taste. Perhaps you will find these reviews useful. And if you don't, you are free to share regarding where our opinions differ. Or mock me as is probably more likely.

Anyways, before I write anything of my own, I thought I'd share a lineup of critics and movie sites I usually pay attention to. The first is Brian D. Johnson who writes for Maclean's. I initially became a reader mostly because my parents used to have a Maclean's subscription. However, I find of all critics I have encountered, his interests lie closest to me. He also tends to spotlight Canadian filmakers I might otherwise miss due to the poor job that we as a nation do of celebrating our own films. You can check out his work on his blog.

Keeping with the Canadian theme, I also like the work of Alan Bacchus at Daily Film Dose. He has been writing that blog for a few years now with the idea being that he publishes a movie review every day. He is also not a bad ballplayer, which I know first-hand having played against him in a men's league a few years back.

Mostly due to the fact that I spend quite a bit of time scouring Slate, I have also gotten into the habit of checking out the work of Dana Stevens. Of all the people listed here, I probably agree with her the least, but its nice to have a contrasting point of view. I ain't just lookin' for yes men in my critic blog-roll.

I am also pleased that Will Leitch has started routinely adding movie reviews to his site. I still don't know what a Tumblr blog is, but I like this one. Leitch is much more famous from his work in the sports blogosphere, but I find his movie articles quite perceptive. I certainly appreciate the fact that everything he writes emanates how much he enjoys doing what he is doing.

Finally, I have recently been getting into Roger Ebert's site which certainly offers a lot more than just movie reviews. He certainly knows what he is talking about and has a wealth of information there on the site that I'm sure, at the very least, will help you procrastinate.

So stay tuned for some of reviews which I hopefully will eventually write. I expect that I won't just tackle new films, as I plan to mention some older movies that catch my eye as well. After all, that is what rental stores are for.

* Note, I did not actually see Epic Movie and never intend to do so. I don't usually like judging a movie completely by its trailer, but that movie just looks awful. If I ever do see Epic Movie, I can only imagine it is because I am being tortured or lost a bet. Anyways, I just thought this was a hilariously terrible headline for a review of that movie. A quick google search shows that I am not the only one who thought of this tagline. I think that is a good sign that I will not be adding anything particularly noteworthy to the world film criticism.

On Cannibalism

A lot has happened since I last wrote something on this here blog. The Jays started playing terribly and ditched Rolen and Rios. I took a 2 and a half week vacation in Toronto. I went to the Edmonton Folk Festival. My bloody Master's thesis keeps on dragging on.

I'll cover some of these topics and others in the future, but probably won't be able to write longer pieces for a few weeks (much to your surprise I'm sure). However, on the advice of a wise man, I will try to use this space as a way to clear my head of science when I find myself stuck during my thesis writing. These posts will be shorter and more comedic (at least, that will be the attempt) than most of my work in the past. This is one such post.

A friend of mine has been trying out the online dating scene and recently joined a new site which tries to match people based on the results of a survey. I have no idea if this is the site often advertised on the television; I have not asked. What I do know is that one of the questions in the survey he completed is as follows:

If you were offered the opportunity to eat human meat prepared any way you like, would you at least try it?

* Yes
* No
* Only as a last resort for survival.

Now this question is hilarious for a myriad of reasons, including a large number of inside jokes that I will not go into here. However, something about that last selection struck me because of the stated opportunity to have the "human meat prepared any way you like." How exactly would this situation come about?

I'm sure I'm not the only one whose mind immediately goes to planes crash-landing in the Andes when the topic of cannibalism comes up*. Apparently, planes never crash in any other mountain ranges, or at least no other mountain ranges inspire cannibalism. Anyways, let us run with the Andes situation for the moment.

As the survey question allows us to have the human meat anyway we want, clearly one of our fellow passengers - specifically the non-dead ones, although I suppose we might only be able to count on our undead fellow passengers - must include say, the Iron Chefs. And when the Iron Chefs travel, they (obviously) bring along all necessary spices and cooking apparatus with them in case of such an emergency. As such, our (possibly zombie) Iron Chef friends have access to a fully functional stove, grill, deep-fryer, etc. and an army of assistants (who may or may not also be zombies). This assortment of apparatus were unharmed in the plane crash. Since they can't run on electricity, they must all run on propane, of which there is an abundance (it is preposterous to believe otherwise). The Iron Chefs, because of their love of cooking, will then happily make you a four or five course meal of your choosing, with the not so secret ingredient of human flesh. Personally, I would avoid the flesh of the undead (except perhaps as a garnish), but you are free to do as you like.

Regardless, I think that we have answered the question of whether a situation may arise in which you have to eat human meat to survive but are given the option of eating it in any way you want, with a resounding yes. For any employee of the aforementioned dating site who stumbles across this blog post (or perhaps is already one of my many many readers), I offer a pre-emptive "you're welcome" for devising a situation that will help you make your survey question more concrete. You should start mailing me the royalty checks as soon as possible. Same goes for anyone who wants to make my "zombie Iron Chef crash-landed in the Andes cannibal" story into a movie. Keep in mind, the existence of this blog post will make any lawsuits really easy.

* Note: this assertion is not completely true. I often think of a particular Kids in the Hall sketch seen here.

Only In California

I am going to get into other tales from my trip to Pasadena later, but I wanted to give a quick update on one of my adventures in Southern California. As part of the conference, the Association for the Advancement of Artificial Intelligence (AAAI) hosts a video competition with the goal of encouraging students to enter into a career in AI research. As I mentioned in an earlier blog post, I was part of a video about a system that interprets motions made with a Wiimote. This film had been made so as to be entered into the competition and ended up being nominated for the Best Short Film Award. As the creator of the film could not be there, I was designated as his proxy since I was attending the conference.

This is all a long-winded way of saying that I have officially appeared in an award winning short film. It is an accomplishment that I am now going to add to resumes and business cards. As the proxy, I was also entrusted with the task of saying a 30 second speech. Since I did not expect we would win, it ended up coming something like this:

"Michael (the video director) couldn't be here today, and so he sent me in his place. He didn't tell me what he wanted to say, so I am just going to assume that he would have thanked Ricardo who built the WiiGesture system with him, and me, for appearing in the film. Thanks."

Anyone who knows me is probably also aware that there were a lot of "ummm"s and "ahhh"s thrown in as well.

Live From Pasadena, it's Rick Velanzano

I am currently in Pasadena at the General Game Playing Competition. The competition is held as part of a workshop at the International Joint Conference on Artificial Intelligence (IJCAI). And my name has been misspelled on my name tag.

General Game Playing is part of a push towards constructing general machine reasoning systems. The idea is to construct a program that can reason about the task at hand and devise a strategy to do it well. The field of games used as a test bed because a large number of tasks can be expressed in this way, and competition offers a simple well to compare alternative approaches.

Artificial intelligence researchers have had tremendous success in developing programs that perform specific games at a world-class level. The classic example was Deep Blue which bet the world-champion Chess champion Gary Kasparov. At the University of Alberta, we have one of the strongest games research group in the world and some of our more public successes include the construction of a program, Chinook, which is not only world-class at Checkers but provably can never be beaten. Our Computer Poker Research Group also constructed a program, Polaris, that has shown capable of defeating world-class poker players over a large number of heads-up limit hold'em matches. Oh yeah, and I was not involved in either of those projects.

However, these programs are limited in that they are specific to the exact game they were designed to play. These programs can playing arbitrarily poorly if even even slight modifications are made to the game, like changing the way a knight moves, changing the size of the board, or changing the number of players. On the other hand, humans are much better at handling such game changes.

In comparison, general game playing programs are expected to play a large variety of games, and actually only get the games rules immediately before the game is to begin. The game then consists of two phases: the initial "thinking" phase, during which the program has an opportunity to analyze the game descriptions; the game-play phase, during which players are required to make a move ever so often (the time changes depending on the game).

Anyways, I will be updating this page over the next week with updates on how the conference is going and how we did in the competition.

UPDATE: The competition started with two divisions of 4 players. We came second in our division and are off to the finals with 3 other teams. We also just got killed when we tried to play Sudoku.

UPDATE 2: Well, the competition is over and we ended up coming in third. We were a little disappointed because we missed out on second by the smallest of margins (it came down to how the numbers were rounded), and the fact that we had some trouble with a program on some of the games. Regardless, we are pleased with the result and despite a few hiccups, were much happier about the way the competition was run this year.

My Acting Pedigree

For a course project, a friend of mine built a Wii Gesture Classification system. The idea is that during game play, a user will perform actions with the Wiimote which have to be identified by the game and translated into actions by a game character. These actions have to be classified properly. For example, consider a baseball game in which a full swing needs to be distinguished from a bunt.

The difficulty with building such a system is that fact that there will be a significant amount of variation in the way different people will try to perform the same action. For example, people swing a baseball bat in many differenet ways, and even do so from different sides. Moreover, as different games will require different action sets to classify, it would be nice to have a system that could be re-used in multiple games without much effort.

My friend's system is trained through the use of examples. To do so, a number of people perform the desired actions. The system then attempts to generalize from these training examples to a more general idea of the actions. The resulting model is then used to classify actions by a game player.

This is all a long-winded way of getting to the point that it is a cool system, he made a demo movie of his software for the 2009 AAAI Video Competition, and I am in it. In the video, my friend shows the system classifying actions in real-time. Since I can't resist the allure of movie-making, I volunteered to be one of the test subjects.

Anyways, here is the video:


You can also find contact info if you are interested in the system at the following link: http://wiigesture.com/

An Update

Since I am currently writing my thesis during the day, I find I am less inclined to come home and write on this here blog. Hopefully I will be able to satisfy my legions of fans until July when I will be more interested in writing. Until the next time I feel obligated to write anything, I leave you with the following updates/observations.

I will begin by saying that I have decided to grow a thesis beard. Specifically, I will not shave until my thesis writing is complete. There are a number of reasons for this decision. First, thesis writing is like the playoffs of a graduate degree. Secondly, looking in the mirror will be a constant reminder of how lazy I am. If I had finished my thesis sooner, I wouldn't look this bad. This should provide extra motivation for finishing as soon as possible.

Finally, the thesis beard will allow me to officially be better than Sidney Crosby at something. He has millions of dollars, is a world-class athlete, and is well-spoken. I am none of these things. But at least for the next few years, I can still grow a better beard than him. Sure, I assume I am better at mathematics and computer science than he is, but I don't know for sure. He may just be hiding those skills. However, concerning beards, I have him beat. At least for now.

A second update: I have run out of toothpicks. When I arrived in Edmonton 20 months ago, I purchased 500. Today, I ran out. Considering that I did not spend that entire time in Edmonton, I am guessing I am going at about a toothpick per day pace. Make of that what you will.

Another Short Post

During a conversation with a friend, I realized that the fact that I enjoyed being a catcher for so many years may mean that I fundamentally like having things thrown at me. Not that this is an invitation.

I Have Never Thought Of It That Way

My sister Julie thinks that my area of research, single-agent search, sounds like a dating service for spys.

Ricardo, Richard, Rick, Ricky, and Dick

Maybe it is because St. Richard's Day was only a few weeks ago, but I am still somewhat surprised to have stumbled on a few different interesting ideas about my name since then.

For those who aren't in the know, when I was younger I generally went by the name Ricky. At some point, I decided to move on to Rick, just as I assume Timmy's generally move on to Tim at some point. This was a semi-conscious decision which was done by slowly phasing out the old name - mostly by introducing myself to new people as Rick instead of Ricky.

Anyways, while Ricky Gervais proves that the name is not just for children any more, Michael Ian Black, in a recent blog post, describes why it is the perfect name for a drug dealer:

My hypothetical drug dealer’s name is Ricky because it sounds like the kind of name that is both friendly but also scummy, which is how I want my drug dealer to be.

Considering that Ricky from Trailer Park Boys is a friendly yet scummy drug dealer, it is starting to seem that this belief is fairly universal.

Now, while Richard is my legal name, only a handful of people call me that, including my Nonna, who pronounces it "Ric-kard" (as in rhyming with mallard). I don't really have a problem with Richard, as it is a fine name. It just sounds so regal, which is why I don't really go by it except in formal situations. In any case, I share said name with one Rick Ankiel of the St. Louis Cardinals who, accordng to stltoday.com, apparently has similarly been pondering the various incarnations of his name:

Ankiel has been preoccupied recently about when it is age appropriate for him to shorten his given name, Richard, to "Dick" instead of "Rick." Some friends and clubhouse denizens have already taken to calling him "Dick" this spring. He calls it an instant "ice-breaker."

Interesting. So at some point, I felt "Rick" was more age-appropriate than "Ricky," and now Mr. Ankiel believes that I should move onto "Dick" in the near future. Well, I suppose it is better than being a friendly, but kinda scummy kid.

Update: I'd like to dedicate this post to Ricky Romero who was nails tonight in the Jay game, even if they lost. I'd like to dedicate the use of the word nails to the Drunk Jays Fans and some anonymous fan named Joshua Waitzkin.

More Opening Day Hype

This video has been floating around various Jays blogs for the last few weeks, but I still have to throw it up here:




Thanks to the Tao of Stieb and the DrunkJaysFans for finding it first.

Sometimes I think I am too young to be this nostalgic.

Boundless Optimism

I haven't posted in a while and so I thought I better write something to appease my rabid fanbase (by which I mean the 3 people who actually check this blog out, mostly just to humour me).

I am also a little hesitant to throw up another baseball post because I want to keep things as varied as possible. But today is Opening Day and so I must.

For the uninitiated, I am referring to the first day of the new baseball season. More specifically, I am referring to the first home game of your favourite team.

I love Opening Day. Until I moved to Edmonton, I had seen something like 5 or 6 straight Opening Day games in person. It was a tradition for a group of us. The only classes of undergrad that I missed (I was really adamant about going to every class so that I would get my moneys worth) were for Opening Day.

In Toronto, Opening Day is the only game of the year that will reliably be sold out (at least until they reliably become a playoff team), and while I can do without some of the morons who only show up for that game - really people, do you have to throw stuff on the field or run on the field - the atmosphere can be electric.

I still remember a particularly good Opening Day in 2005. The opponent was the hated (well I hate them) Red Sox. I am pretty sure this is the game when Rogers made the ill-advised decision to give out fridge-magnet schedules that would be thrown onto the field in large quantities. But regardless of the stupidity of the others in the crowd, baseball prevailed.

In the bottom of the ninth, with the Jays down 6-3, good ole Corey Koskie singled to start the rally. As the Jays battled back, the crowd became electric. Of the group that day was a friend of mine who only had a cursory understanding of baseball, and I remember her mentioning that even though she didn't quite know what was going on, she was trembling from excitement. Even though the Jays feel achingly short with two men on and one run short, I remember thinking "This is what Opening Day is about." For those in the know, I believe it was after this game that I ordered that glorious Molson Ex.

Anyways, my expectations for the Jays are pretty low for this season. But today is Opening Day, and so I can't help but think about the things that may break the right way this year. Particularly with Roy Halladay, maybe my favourite athlete (nay, human being) on the planet today, pitching today, I can't help but be optimistic. What was that Morgan Freeman said about hope?

International Baseball Madness

I am incredibly pumped for the World Baseball Classic game tomorrow. USA vs. Canada. A rematch of the game. I have no idea how I am going to watch it, but I definitely will try.

The game is of course the Canada vs. USA World Baseball Classic game in 2006. I was still on the U of T campus when the game began, and didn't know the score until I got into my dad's car for the ride home. It was only then that I found out about the ridiculous lead that Canada had built, in Arizona no less, from the FAN590 (the local sports radio station). Needless to say, I was shocked. Remember, we are talking about baseball here. America's national pastime.

Unfortunately, none of the radio stations was actually playing the game, and so I remained at the mercy of the FAN590 and their game updates. Considering it was still early in the game, the car ride only got more and more nerve-racking, even as the Canadian lead kept growing. Could they actually pull off the upset?

When we finally arrived home, I bolted out of the car, into the house, and to the nearest available TV. We arrived joyously to see the Americans were still down by 8 runs.

However, Adam Loewen, who was the starting pitcher for Canada, had to be pulled from the game - despite having handcuffed the US for the first few innings. With the departure of Loewen, the Americans started to mount an incredible comeback in the 5th inning, much to my dismay.

After having already put up 6 runs in the fifth so as to pull the game back to 8-6 Canada, the Americans loaded the bases with two outs and set the stage for Chase Utley, the American second baseman.

At this point, I was terrified. Not only had the Americans clawed there way back, but we had some pitcher I had never heard of on the mound, and he was pitching to probably the best hitting second baseman in the game. And just as expected, the pitcher threw a beachball right down the middle of the plate that Utley was more than willing to crush.

All I could manage to do was slump over in my chair in agony. The game had gone sour. The momentum had completely changed in favour of the Americans. Even worse, Canada's pitching staff was essentially cobbled together from whomever they could find, and so I did not believe that they could keep the Americans from running away with the victory.

The game was essentially over and I knew it. So did Chase Utley, who made the moment so much more devastating when he allowed a smarmy grin to creep onto his face. He even raised his fist in triumph before the ball had left the park, a moment I expected would haunt me in my sleep. But then Adam Stern happened.

Adam Stern was/is a middling prospect who, at the time, had played a handful of games at the Major League Level, and has hardly played any more since. But this was his day. He was batting ninth, and yet somehow managed to collect 4 RBI's which included this glorious piece of work. Just watch that clip. The announcer didn't even know who he was.

Most importantly, Adam Stern was not about to let Canada lose this game.

I wish I could find a video of the ensuing play. All I remember is the ball sailing off of Utley's bat, headed to the bleachers behind centerfield. Both Utley and I assumed it was a homerun, but instead, Adam Stern came out of nowhere to make a ridiculous leaping catch right by the wall. As he fell into a heap on the ground, I leaped out of my chair and screamed in joy. The inning was over. Canada still had the lead. We could still win this game!

Sure enough, the scrubs that together formed Canada's pitching staff somehow managed to hold on for the win. Canada 8, USA 6. IN BASEBALL! It was one of the most satisfying sports victories I could possibly imagine.

The rematch of this game goes down tomorrow at the Roger's Centre in Toronto. I wish I could be there, however I am in Edmonton. But I am proud to hear my sister is keeping the faith and attending. If you enjoy baseball (particularly if you are Canadian, or even just mildly approve of Canada), you should make every effort to go.

If you do go, give the team (especially for Adam Stern) a standing ovation. And when you are done, give them a second one for me.

A Good Day

Yesterday was a busy one, and I was actually quite productive, particularly considering it was a Friday. I even missed lunch (which is atypical) because I really wanted to get a few proofs written, proofread, and emailed to a prof before a group meeting I had to attend in the late afternoon. I finished some other work after the meeting, and then, in the evening I went out for drinks with some friends.

As our crowd dissipated, I headed over to another friend's home for some poker. We ended up playing dealer's choice (in which the dealer decides at the beginning of each hand what variant of poker, from any in existence, we will be played for that round) well into the night. After finally losing my $5 buy-in hours after we had started, I decided to head home.

So it is 3am, and a friend of mine and I decide to walk instead of call a cab. Well, I should mention that I wouldn't have minded taking a cab (it was 3am), except my friend kept insisting that the walk could be done in 25 minutes. Stubborn old me was more than willing to humour his delusions just to prove him wrong (which I did quite successfully).

In any case, it is February in Edmonton and after an absurdly warm winter thus far, the weather has finally started to become more typical for the season. That means our walk is accompanied by -20 to -25 degree Celsius temperatures. Both of us were well-equipped for this particular situation and so we just shrugged off the conditions and entered into a lengthy (much longer than 25 minute) discussion about how the cop-win number of an arbitrary graph is bounded by a function of the graph's genus.

Now, I don't expect you to have any idea of what that last line means. As it is, I barely do. But I bring it up to make the following point: in grad school, no matter where you are, what time it is, what shenanigans you have just engaged in, or what weather is being thrown at you, science is never that far away.

Caffeine in the Morning? I'll Stick with Sugar, Thank You

The other day, I was at the supermarket browsing the aisles when I passed by a box of Pop Tarts. I immediately giggled to myself as I remembered the sugary goodness of this breakfast treat. Since I couldn't remember the last time I had easten one, I picked up the box to have a closer look and saw the following:
SALE: 24 Pop Tarts for $8

At this point, the bargain-hunter in me took over. How could I not buy them at that price? 24 Pop Tarts for $8? That is fantastic!

It is a definitely a satisfying feeling to be financially responsible about never growing up.

Number 13, Mats Sundin

In the early and min-nineties, I was quite the devoted fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs. I used to set up shrines to the team in my room when they made the playoffs, and I still hold a grudge against Wayne Gretzky for high-sticking Doug Gilmour in 1993 (don't let anybody in Edmonton know).

However, my interest in hockey started to wane as I became frustrated with the way the game had evolved, specifically the omnipresent hooking and holding which slowed the game down. It didn't help that the Leafs continually stumbled when trying to develop the team: overpaying past-their-prime free agents; continually trading draft picks and prospects for ineffective veterans; and, not giving their own young players any opportunity to develop.

I still followed the team, but perhaps not with the same intensity as I did before. I didn't watch as many regular season games, but I did keep abreast of all the happenings and goings on.

Along came the lockout which brought with it many rule changes that I was happy with. However, the salary cap meant that the Leafs could no longer cover their mismanagement by throwing money around.

And then I moved to Edmonton, and for the first time, the fan of a visiting team. Surprisingly, this has revitalized my interest, at least in some part because I am no longer inundated with Leafs news at all hours of the day. I actually have to put effort into my fandom, and better yet, I don't have to hear about every tiny little nugget of irrelevance even tangentially related to someone on the team.

And maybe that is the only reason for this blog post. Perhaps my distance has allowed me to escape the Mats-fatigue which I'm sure has descended on quite a few Leafs fans.

But then again, that was quite the standing ovation last night, particularly considering the circumstances under which he left.

Through all my trials and tribulations with the Leafs and hockey in general, Mats was the one constant. I would argue that he was so consistent, that Leafs fans took him for granted until perhaps the last few years of his tenure.

In some sense, Mats was a puzzle. He was a huge body whose presence on the ice was always felt. And yet somehow he did so in an unassuming way. His goals were rarely of the spectacular variety, even as they kept piling up. And when he or someone else on the team scored, he merely flashed a smile and raised his arms - and sometimes, not even that.

Mats' consistency was remarkable. From 1995-2008, he scored between 72 and 83 points all but one time (the 94 point 2001-2002 season). He did this by making his teammates better, even when he had absolute scrubs playing alongside him.

And nobody kept their emotions in check like Mats. He made sure that personally, he never got too caught up in the highs and lows of the moment, and the team followed his lead. I always identified with this aspect of his personality, and cherished his steady hand steering the ship.

But the fiasco in the last year was concerning. I bought his line about not wanting to be a rental player, and the importance of being with a team from September to June. At the time, I thought it made perfect sense. It has to be slightly bittersweet to win a cup as a rental player. Sure, your blood and sweat will go into finishing the job, but you joined the team when they were on top - you didn't have to put up with the ups and downs of the marathon that is the season.

I imagine it is similar to the difference between a fan who has put up with years of hardship only to see their faith rewarded, versus a bandwagon fan who jumps on for the last leg. The bandwagon fan will enjoy the experience, but to whom will it taste sweeter?

But then Mats hemmed and hawed for a long time, and joined Vancouver midseason. Suddenly, I was forced to question the words and the character of a person whom I had admired since I was eleven or twelve. He said that his time in Toronto meant a great deal to him, but could we take his word?

As everyone knows, last night he returned to Toronto as a Canuck, and while all week I tried to pretend it was no big deal, yesterday, around 6:30 eastern time, I started getting nervous. As the big guy came out onto the ice, I dare say I pacing in my apartment. I'm not sure whose reaction I anticipated more: the crowd, or Mats'.

A smattering of boos whenever he touched the puck was not unexpected. Neither was the standing ovation when they played the video tribute. But the visibly emotional Mats was.

I did not know what to expect, but his reaction did mean a lot, even as brief as it was. His time as a Maple Leaf did mean as much to him as it did to the rest of us, if not more. Nevermind the history of the franchise, and the cliched nonsense about "what it means to have that logo on your sweater". Simply put, even if the city of Toronto was reluctant at first to accept their Swedish captain, by the end of his tenure, he had connected with the community. That meant something to him, and it meant something to us.

I love the story of how during the ovation he asked the linesman to drop the puck because he had had enough. The chink in his armor had been revealed, but it was time to refocus and get back to business. His new team needed him to steady the ship because they had a game to win. Typical Mats.

I look forward to the day when Sundin's 13 will be hanging from the rafters.
And since the Leafs are pretty much done, I think I might have to throw in my support for a Vancouver cup run this year.

The Greatest Ski Boots Ever

This past weekend, I went to Fernie, BC for a ski trip with some friends. In order to save time at the ski hill, I rented my equipment in Edmonton.

Anyways, here is a picture of the ski boots I rented:

At first glance, they look pretty ordinary. But let us take a closer look at that red strip in the front.That's right, ladies and gentlemen, my ski boots can travel through time.

In this week's episode: The Evil Luggage Carousel

I wanted to mention one other aspect of the suitcase losing ordeal - specifically how the luggage carousel at the Edmonton Airport is designed to maximize frustration in the event of lost baggage.

The luggage carousel at the Edmonton airport is split in half by a wall. On one side of the wall, the airline passengers have access to the baggage on the carousel. On the other side, the airline employees presumably (and ideally) place the baggage onto the conveyor belt. To get from one side of the wall to the other, the conveyor belt (and luggage) must pass through openings in the wall, which are curtained with black rubber blinds that shield us from knowing the terrifying truth about what happens on the other side of the wall. These curtains are only pushed aside by luggage passing from one realm to the other.

Each suitcase then takes the following voyage. To make this description more entertaining, I suggest you assume that this journey is accompanied by Raymond Scott's Powerhouse (see this link for the full composition). First, the suitcase is placed on the conveyor belt by an employee. The suitcase then passes through the opening and is available to be retrieved by the passengers. The suitcase is then either claimed, or it is taken by the conveyor belt to a second opening which leads back to the employee side of the wall. The suitcase then continues this journey until it is removed from the carousel by an employee or an airline passenger.

After most of the crowd has collected their luggage and moved on, us unlucky few are left to stare agonizingly at those black rubber blinds that cover the entrance to the passenger side of the wall, endlessly waiting for it to our turn to skip to the conveyor belt, collect our luggage, and merrily be on our way. And every time those blinds begin to buckle so as to allow some suitcase to pass, you momentarily have some hope. "It might be my bag this time," you think. You even manage to convince yourself that you are finally going to get to leave this miserable place.

But of course, it is not your bag that peeks through those black rubber blinds. It is that same stupid hard-plastic neon pink suitcase that has already made at least 30 trips around the carousel while you have been waiting. The few of us who have not already taken our frustration out on some poor airport employee are left to sigh in disgust and wait until our spirits have been fully broken by the next appearance of that hideously cruel bag.

I really hate that hard-plastic neon pink suitcase. I really do.

A Waste of Good Lasagna

It seems everyone has had some sort of experience with an airline losing their luggage. I have always been extremely lucky in this regard - especially considering how often I have been travelling by plane in the past year and a half. Well today, my personal percentages starting tipping back towards the mean.

I should have known I was in for trouble when I found Toronto's Pearson Airport in a state of chaos, with all the lines for those who checked in on the web, those who were late, and those who checked in on spot (and seemingly tagged their own bags), all jumbled up. I believe the line I was in actually got re-purposed while I was in it, without my knowledge.

I'm not going to bore you with (many of) the details, because you've heard the same song and dance before. What distinguishes this story from the others (or at least some), is that my missing bag (I did find one of them) contained frozen lasagna.

It has been family tradition that my Nonna cooks a massive plate of lasagna for Christmas. Since the following day is my birthday, and lasagna is my favourite pasta, I inherit what is left over. The significant portion that was not consumed either on Christmas or during the holidays, was then to be brought to Edmonton, where I could keep it frozen, and eat it from time to time.

Well, I have yet to receive my bag and having been almost 24 hours since I took the lasagna out of the freezer, I think it is safe to say that my plans have been foiled.