Killing Time before a meeting with a One Paragraph Movie Review

I try to support Canadian films when I can, but a lame movie is a lame movie. And "Gunless" is a lame movie. The plot is cliched and not really entertaining, the characters are uninteresting, the cinematography is bland, the comic-relief is not funny, and the romance is unconvincing. Even the play on American and Canadian stereotypes is eye-roll inducing. While not unwatchable, it remains lame. Go watch "Canadian Bacon" instead if you are looking for a playful and amusing take on American-Canadian relations and stereotypes.

In this episode of "The Good, the Bad, and the Rick," our intrepid hero admits to being thoroughly confused by Michael Haneke

I apologize to all of my readers who were anxiously waiting with baited breath for the next word to burst forth from the deep recesses of my cold and forgotten heart. Fear no more, for I have returned from whence I came!

By which I mean the last few weeks have been quite eventful and I have not had the opportunity to write anything. Not that I have any real excuse. I was only defending my thesis, and then celebrating the successful defense of my thesis, and then concurrently looking for an apartment. And in the midst of all this, I also managed to watch 5 movies in the last two weeks. I'm not sure if I will have a post on each, but I will certainly address a few of them. Today, I thought I'd tackle "The White Ribbon" and my opinion of the three Michael Haneke films that I've seen over the last year.

I am not sure where I first heard of the film "Funny Games" (specifically "Funny Games US"), but however that was, something about the description stuck with me. So when I stumbled across a copy of it in the used bin at the local Rogers Video about 8-12 months ago, I decided it was worth a purchase.

And I was right. The basic story of the film follows the home invasion of an upper-middle class family's cabin. But instead of hitting your regular horror movie plot points, this film basically subverts all your expectations about the genre and points out the viewers sadism for even wanting to watch such a film.

"Funny Games" also represents one of the most uncomfortable viewing experiences of my life. Not because it is overly violent --- there is little actual on-screen violence --- but because Haneke builds the tension to levels that I am not used to. My stomach was essentially squirming the entire time, and even when there is a brief respite, Haneke quickly pulls it away. It is a beautifully filmed movie, but it is a painful experience, particularly considering what Haneke suggests my interest in watching such a film says about me.

Even if it was a difficult film to watch, its brilliance made me eager check out Haneke's other work. So when a local theatre was showing Haneke films for an entire week, I rounded up some friends --- Zee German, Minnesota, The Greatest TA of All Time (you sir, are a brilliant and talented man, and I don't only say so because you might be marking my assignment at this very moment), and Soul-Patch* --- and we headed over to watch "The Seventh Continent." As we left the theatre, Zee German and Minnesota claimed it was the worst movie they had ever seen. I tried playing the contrarian (I'm a bit of a jerk that way), but I have to admit, I also hated it.

The film follows a middle-class family living a regular, and what Haneke suggests is a boring and unfulfilling life. So they, well let us say, change their situation.

"The Seventh Continent" is also difficult to watch, but that is mostly because ever scene goes on about 10 times longer than it should. It's one thing to have long scenes that build tension --- and to be fair, there are some tense/heart-breaking scenes. But is is another to show 5 straight minutes of someone literally flushing money down the toilet from a single camera angle

And so it was with trepidation that I went to watch Haneke's "The White Ribbon" during the Edmonton Film Festival last week.  The movie had won the Palme D'Or at Cannes and so a bunch of us were interested. But I was so disappointed in "The Seventh Continent" that I expected the worst.

"The White Ribbon" follows some weird and tragic events that happen in a small village in Germany in 1913.
But in the end, I didn't connect with film at all. I found the story to not be particularly interesting, and I came out not having any idea what Haneke was trying to say.

I did enjoy his stark black-and-white cinematography. In particular, Haneke seems to love to allow the camera to linger on shot in which all characters have left, only to allow them to re-enter the frame from where they came. I also appreciate that all characters are given heaps of depth. But I really have no idea know what it was all building to.

I suspect a European audience will get much more out of it than I did, just because of the cultural background and history that the film assumes. I had no idea until about halfway through the movie that the year was 1913 (my guess was about 15 years off), and I wonder if this would have been immediately obvious to someone from that continent.

I do appreciate that Haneke doesn't spoon-feed his audience with this film, but it feels like he goes too far the other way. It is almost like the film is deliberately frustrating. For that reason, I am less than impressed. It is certainly hard for me to recommend a movie that I did not get, or even really enjoy.

In the end, I am left with an odd opinion of Haneke. I remain staunchly in favour of "Funny Games" and staunchly in opposition to "The Seventh Continent." "The White Ribbon" simply left me cold (perhaps by flying right over my head). But after seeing all three films, I can't say I have nearly as much interest in seeking out any further Haneke films as I once did.

Note: Some internet chatter I have seen suggests "The White Ribbon" is about how the seeds of fascism and Nazism were sown in the young generation. I suppose I can kind of see that if I cross my eyes and squint.  However, I maintain that even if this is indeed Haneke's message, he has obfuscated it far too much. Again, maybe this was all obvious for a European audience, but I completely missed it when I saw the film, and I would be lying if I didn't admit that I am having a hard time seeing it now.

* Soul-Patch is a pretty cool nickname (it makes him sound like a cop in a 70's blaxpoitation film), but it isn't accurate, and I'm pretty sure I can do better. Next time, I promise will.

"Epic Movie? More like Epic Fail!"*

I really enjoy going to the cinema. I love being overwhelmed by the big screens and hearing how other people react to a film. I even kind of enjoy that slightly nauseous feeling I get after leaving the theatre having gone through a fountain sprite and bag of gummy bears (note, I am a firm believer that this feeling is part of the experience).

But, there are also only so many hours in the day and so much money in my pocket. Which are just some of the reasons I have always found a certain set of movie critics quite valuable.

I say certain set because I don't find all critics valuable to me personally. It is not because they are poor writers or bad critics, its just that they don't help me pick movies to watch. In some sense, I look for critics that have similar sensibilities as I do, this way I know that if they liked a film, I probably will too.

Another important function that movie critics serve involves highlighting lesser known films that I might otherwise miss. I always enjoy being surprised by a film, and so throwing a little less conventional fare into the mix is always helpful - particularly if it is suggested by a source I trust.

With these ideas in mind, I have been thinking about helping to populate this corner of the internet with a few movie reviews of my own. If you are reading this blog, you almost certainly know me personally and so probably agree with me on at least some aspects of movie-watching taste. Perhaps you will find these reviews useful. And if you don't, you are free to share regarding where our opinions differ. Or mock me as is probably more likely.

Anyways, before I write anything of my own, I thought I'd share a lineup of critics and movie sites I usually pay attention to. The first is Brian D. Johnson who writes for Maclean's. I initially became a reader mostly because my parents used to have a Maclean's subscription. However, I find of all critics I have encountered, his interests lie closest to me. He also tends to spotlight Canadian filmakers I might otherwise miss due to the poor job that we as a nation do of celebrating our own films. You can check out his work on his blog.

Keeping with the Canadian theme, I also like the work of Alan Bacchus at Daily Film Dose. He has been writing that blog for a few years now with the idea being that he publishes a movie review every day. He is also not a bad ballplayer, which I know first-hand having played against him in a men's league a few years back.

Mostly due to the fact that I spend quite a bit of time scouring Slate, I have also gotten into the habit of checking out the work of Dana Stevens. Of all the people listed here, I probably agree with her the least, but its nice to have a contrasting point of view. I ain't just lookin' for yes men in my critic blog-roll.

I am also pleased that Will Leitch has started routinely adding movie reviews to his site. I still don't know what a Tumblr blog is, but I like this one. Leitch is much more famous from his work in the sports blogosphere, but I find his movie articles quite perceptive. I certainly appreciate the fact that everything he writes emanates how much he enjoys doing what he is doing.

Finally, I have recently been getting into Roger Ebert's site which certainly offers a lot more than just movie reviews. He certainly knows what he is talking about and has a wealth of information there on the site that I'm sure, at the very least, will help you procrastinate.

So stay tuned for some of reviews which I hopefully will eventually write. I expect that I won't just tackle new films, as I plan to mention some older movies that catch my eye as well. After all, that is what rental stores are for.

* Note, I did not actually see Epic Movie and never intend to do so. I don't usually like judging a movie completely by its trailer, but that movie just looks awful. If I ever do see Epic Movie, I can only imagine it is because I am being tortured or lost a bet. Anyways, I just thought this was a hilariously terrible headline for a review of that movie. A quick google search shows that I am not the only one who thought of this tagline. I think that is a good sign that I will not be adding anything particularly noteworthy to the world film criticism.